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【 Voice of The Voiceless 】 粧容下的真我

 

澳門以博彩業和娛樂場所聞名世界,有亞洲拉斯維加斯之稱,每月收入約二百多億。若初次到訪,或多或少總會被那紙醉金迷、燈紅酒綠、五光十色和華麗的宣傳和佈置所吸引。當走進賭場的華麗大堂,像皇宮般奢華,大得有點讓人迷失,不知道應該往那方向走。而進賭場賭錢的人,總是雄心渤渤贏大錢,對常常賭錢的人來說,更是希望贏更好生活,更美的將來。

另一邊廂,在一條橫街窄巷的樓上賓館,昏暗的燈光,沒有空調,裡面有十多間不隔音、簡陋的板間房(一間六七百呎用木板分隔成小房間,大多的房間內只有床和一個小小的柜)。而在破落的大廳,一班姐姐(即性工作者的意思)坐著等她們的客人,等著賺「足夠」的生活費,回到家鄉與家人開展新生活。

筆者參與澳門「喇合事工」,定期與同工一起去探訪澳門紅燈區的姐姐,透過送贈小禮物,關心她們。她們大部份都是從中國內地到澳門,有些甚至會經中介而到來回東南亞、港澳及國內的色情場所。這些姐姐都已步入中年,各有不同的人生故事。有一次,其中一位單親媽媽面帶愁容的告訴我:「這裡的人來這種地方做事,各有原因,你想我們真的想一世在這裡嗎?我若不為了孩子,也不用在這裡。我也不敢讓孩子知道。」或許你聽到這句話,你會立時想回應:「還有許多賺錢的方法,只要肯做,那怕不能養活家人!?」然而,那一次看著她無奈的表情,我告訴自己,我當好好的聆聽每位姐姐心裡的微聲。

Voice 2小玲(化名),四十出頭,濃粧艷抺,看上去比真實年紀還大。她從不接受我們所送的小禮物,也不與我們交談,每次探訪,總見她在化粧。我一直都在等候機會,能夠與她傾談。直到有一次,短宣隊到訪,在小小賓館教姐姐們做些小手飾,短宣隊員與姐姐們有說有笑,那一天氣氛相當愉快。坐在一旁的小玲,突然抬起頭來對我說:「你們真好,常常來送禮物。」我說:「是的,我們想你們開心。你喜歡這份禮物嗎?」第一次,看見她的微笑:「喜歡,謝謝。」那一天,我們沒再有對話,但關係卻好像破冰了。日後的探訪,我開始慢慢從她口中知道她的故事。

小玲在鄉村長大,家鄉生活的回憶是美好的,雖然貧窮,但卻能享受與家人在一起。小時候過年,穿上新衣服及去親友家吃糖果,約朋友玩,快樂簡單的生活,已令她感到滿足。到了十多歲,她跟家鄉許多年青人一樣,都希望能夠能在城市找到工作,多賺一點,多看看外邊花花世界,希望有更美好的將來。事實上,這不是很多人的期望嗎?多少父母要孩子努力學習,不也是希望能夠有更美好的生活和前途。當初她的期望,只是我們眾人之中普通的一個。不同的,只是她遇到了一個騙子,把她的夢都破滅。

抵達城市不久,她就誤墮入騙子的圈套,被騙到色情場所當性工作者。她提起當時的情況,沒有激動,沒有憤怒,但卻相當無奈:「那時被禁在房中,根本不到你自己決定任何事,若你不做,被人打。打得多,覺得反抗也無補於事,唯有照做。沒有辦法,只好繼續做下去。」直等到有一天,在別人的協助下,她從那個鬼地方救出來。或許大家都以為她能夠重新開始,但事情又豈是那麼如意。

離鄉別井一段長日子,回到家鄉,人和事都變了。父母年紀老邁,身體出現毛病。過去的經歷,她失去其他謀生的技能,要去學習新的謀生技能也不容易。不清白的過去,亦使她沒信心能遇見真愛,建立自己的家庭。既然自己已有段不光彩的過去,亦不期望結織到如意郎君,生兒育女,倒不如就回到賓館,至少能夠糊口,能夠養活家鄉雙親。這樣,她變得「自願地」,在自由的情況下,回到色情場所,賓館裡「工作」。

重新化起濃粧,笑著向每一個客人招手,擺出無限歡迎的樣子。你說,她是自願還是被迫?她是貪慕虛榮還是為了生存?她是不自愛還是放棄自己?很多人都會以為現今社會不會再有逼良為娼的事情,因著道德淪落,以致不少婦女甘心出賣自己身體,去換取金錢。然而,有誰聽到她內心的微聲的無奈和控訴。

聽罷她的故事,我彷彿看見她努力把粉底厚厚的塗在面上,是為了遮蓋過她過去、一段段不堪回想的往事。她還記得昔日追求夢想的少女,還感受到自己原本的單純嗎?我對她說:「未化粧的你,我相信好美!」她第二次笑了,只是很快又輕輕搖一搖頭,繼續化粧。

那次之後,我見過她兩次,之後就再沒有見過她,別人也不知道她的去向。我祈禱,有一天小玲能夠卸下濃粧,活出真我。重拾神創造她時的尊榮,知道她是神寶貝的女兒。

濃粧不能蓋過她的過去,但耶穌的寶血,卻能洗淨她的不潔和羞恥,叫她重新托起頭來,走她的人生路。

 

Voice 1

這是義工為事工設計的小咭,讓我們外展探訪時送給姐姐們。
(註: 熱線電話已改,不合用。)

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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