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Home本期文章從社會矛盾中看「正能量」

【社會心】非理性思想(61)--從社會矛盾中看「正能量」

 

 Headline Van Atc

 

「正能量」在日常生活中的應用就是生活的態度﹐待人處事的參考點。之前數篇曾討論到在面對衝突時﹐以「正能量」角度去看待﹐回應的方式便有所不同。當對方不斷指責批評﹐若果同樣是以嚴詞反駁﹐只會令衝突升級;相反﹐若是以冷靜引退﹐更能令彼此把情緒冷卻﹐不致進一步惡化﹐也給予空間大家去思考。同樣﹐在個人遇上連番逆境﹐可以會情緒化地發洩﹐衝動地發脾氣﹐但可能會引發更多惡果﹐使「禍不單行」成為事實。今期﹐筆者嘗試討論香港近來的社會矛盾處境﹐探討如何可以用「正能量」的角度去看。

首先要重申「正能量」是何所指。一個充滿「正能量」的人的特徵﹐是對自己有信心﹐對別人多欣賞﹐對生活多樂觀。他們知道生活本來就是悲喜交集﹐人生道路有高低難易﹐有順流逆流﹐所以會坦然面對順境困境。當快樂來臨時﹐會盡情享受當煩擾來襲時﹐就理性解決。他們相信事情可以改變的﹐會盡力去學去處理。當確實無法改變問題時﹐就坦然接受那不能改變的(可以是環境﹐是某人的性格﹐與某人的關係﹐甚至是自己!)這是筆者在去年12月本欄文章中所表達的含意。

回看香港處境﹐就著「反送中條例」中﹐在 6.9 有百萬人遊行﹐當中充滿和平﹐有秩序在6.16更有二百萬人遊行﹐也是和平﹐在尾聲時有些衝突。期間在 6.12 發生部分警民衝突﹐互有受傷。在這 6 月間﹐教會界包括個別神學院教授或是教會聯會﹐紛紛站出來﹐在報刊上表示立場﹐也有到現場作調解的﹐也有在現場祈禱、唱聖詩的。教會站到街中﹐比以往都多而明顯。

筆者的朋友群當中﹐處於雙方陣營都有。彼此在批評中﹐看到現象是越罵越過界﹐很快便把論點無限上綱﹐造成「非友即敵」﹐「非支持﹐就反對」﹐置人於牆角﹐逼人表態。甚至乎在朋友閒談中某人說出「佢哋太離譜啦」﹐在未知前文背景下旁邊友人便立即插嘴大聲表示「你哋講邊個離譜?」氣氛突然緊張﹐大家都擔心原本閒聊的氣氛充滿火藥味!

在社交媒體如 facebook、whatsapp、wechat 中﹐更是各有所屬立場。原本是同學組、行山組、音樂組等等﹐都收到很多各自表述立場的轉載文章及短片。當中也看一個現象﹐當那群組有位「大哥」先出聲表示立場﹐其他原本沒有什麼意見的也很快回應附和﹐形成那群組的大勢﹐於是乎持有不同意見的便不敢出聲!原本是友好同學或有良好關係的﹐因今次的事件令到友誼蒙上陰影﹐甚至被人unfriend﹐或是因不想發生衝突而退出群組。

面對重大社會矛盾﹐生活在當中的是受到嚴重衝擊﹐最主要是當朋友問到自己如何看法時﹐不知怎去表達﹐既可表示自己觀點﹐又不想因為可能與對方不一樣而起衝突甚至失去朋友!因為﹐我們都內心都不想因此而失去一位朋友﹐一段關係。

筆者認為﹐以「正能量」角度去看﹐就是客觀、和平、積極、正面看事情。在社會矛盾中﹐可以求同存異的﹐盡量避免破壞良好友誼。倘若对方咄咄逼人﹐為免造成傷痕太大﹐也可表示因意見不同﹐暫時退出。說話留一線﹐日後好相見。

此外﹐亦可以從不同角度與大家討論﹐強調是理性討論﹐理智為尚﹐也講理由的討論﹐例如此條例的重點是甚麼?最受爭議的是甚麼?市民懼怕的是甚麼?這些懼怕有基礎嗎?鼓勵大家避開太情緒化的爭執﹐不必要求对「未能同意的意見」表態。不時要提出:意見可以不同﹐不要傷及友誼。

同時﹐可以提出建議﹐嘗試点出彼此的共同点(common point﹐common ground)﹐例如「大家都想香港好﹐熱愛香港﹐只是有不同角度」。又可以引述其他團體的意見﹐請他們回應﹐如大律師公會的立場声明﹐探討專家們的意見有没有可接受的理據?

亦可以探討從普遍市民懼怕此修例的背後原因﹐是對中國大陸的法治制度沒有信心﹐怕修改後大陸官方可以隨時隨地來香港拘捕港人(甚至是在香港的外國人士)返回中國受審。在現時社會氣候這樣欠缺彼此信任情況下﹐是否可以稍為延後﹐叫社會民生可以稍為休養生息?

 

Social 1


對於身體已經遭遇傷害﹐不論是警方或市民﹐都宜冷靜下來﹐先處理治療康復。在身體受到暴力對待而受傷﹐情緒會更易激化﹐產生仇恨之心﹐形成恶性循環﹐這是一個雙輸局面。最後﹐誰會得益呢?筆者引述曾經受到暴力襲擊的前明報總編輯劉進圖先生文章裡的一句話:「不要讓仇恨滋長」(2014 年 12 月 2 日明報)

還記得公民抗命的三位巨人﹐甘地、曼德拉和馬丁路德金嗎?甘地面對印度國民為宗教撕裂﹐互相仇殺﹐他以絕食至垂死來呼喚國民放下仇恨。曼德拉被白人政權打壓﹐坐了 27 年的監牢﹐但他選擇與當權者和解﹐以絕不報復的承諾來為南非贏得種族和平。馬丁路德金堅持非暴力抗爭﹐最後死於暴力襲擊﹐成就了下一代美國黑人與白人孩子平起平坐的夢想。如果他們容讓仇恨滋長﹐選擇以暴易暴﹐世界將會怎樣?如果香港各方都抱持「有仇報仇」的心態﹐香港將會變成甚麼樣子?

 

Social 2


最後容我引述﹐在曼德拉在大選勝出擔任總統時﹐記者問:如何在激流險壑、風雲變幻的政治鬥爭中﹐保持一顆博大、寬容的心?曼德拉意味深長地看了記者一眼﹐以自己獲釋出獄當天的心情回答了她。他說:

「當我走出囚室、邁向通往自由的監獄大門時﹐我已經清楚﹐自己若不能把悲痛與怨恨留在身後﹐那麼我其實仍在獄中。」

聖經教訓我們:「你們願意人怎樣待你們﹐你們也要怎樣待人。你們若單愛那愛你們的人﹐有甚麼可酬謝的呢?就是罪人也愛那愛他們的人。你們倒要愛仇敵﹐也要善待他們﹐並要借給人不指望償還(路加福音5:31-35)

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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