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【社會心】非理性思想(55)--繼續做一個正能量的人

 

正如之前曾說過﹐每個人身上都是帶有 "正能量" 的﹐只要你願意釋放出來。當你願意抱著樂觀、積極的態度去看事情﹐你會傾向於往正面看﹐容易充滿希望﹐熱誠與信念。和這樣的人在一起的感覺是安全、輕鬆、愉悅﹐少掛慮憂愁。跟他交流的時候﹐會感受到快樂、信心、積極、凡事都可行、都有機會、生命充滿意義、生活饒富趣味﹐讓你很想和他更多一點時間分享交流。

"正能量" 可以自己調控嗎?

充滿 "正能量" 的人的特徵﹐"是對自己有信心﹐對別人多欣賞﹐對生活多樂觀。" 究竟 "正能量" 是否可以自己調控呢?有人可能會問:當心情不好時﹐不如意的事情相繼出現﹐人又怎樣可以繼續樂觀?還有心情欣賞別人的長處?甚至仍然懷著自信?我的答案是:可以。"正能量" 是可以自己調控的﹐這在乎你的選擇﹐以及花時間培養。

可能你會認為當人生事事順境﹐便容易有 "正能量";若是經歷過大創傷、大打擊、大病、大失敗﹐怎能有 "正能量" 呢?我的看法是正正相反﹐當人在逆境中﹐更易看到誰有更多 "正能量";或是說﹐當人人都對眼前境況感到失望無望之際﹐你卻看到一線生機﹐有出路﹐並慢慢按你看到的出路前進﹐你就已充滿 "正能量"。我們常聽到 "機會﹐總是給有預備的人"﹐問題是﹐那人何以在未見順境時已肯去預備呢?若他沒有信心與期望﹐他會去預備嗎?事實上﹐當他越去預備﹐便會越來越建立更多自信﹐更易從正面角度去看事物。當 "正能量" 被建立後﹐往後發生的正面事情都會不斷強化 "正能量" 的儲存量﹐好像汽車電池越多開動便越多儲存﹐越不用便漸漸流失 (If you don't use it﹐you'll lose it) 。

"正能量" 在困難中更易顯露

記得我的小兒在四﹐五嵗時學踏單車﹐最困難的是學平衡﹐一失平衡便立即跌倒﹐令至擦傷皮膚、流血、痛楚﹐甚至大哭。當他經歷了一次又一次的跌倒﹐在旁觀者的我既感心痛但又不能代替﹐只可在旁鼓勵。到下次再練習時﹐留意到他似乎發覺到他可以維持長久一些才跌﹐然後又感覺到可以左搖右擺下仍未跌倒﹐繼而減少左搖加擺﹐可以走向平衡﹐漸漸覺得可以駕駛此單車。從他的笑容顯示出內在的自信心和有能力的感覺﹐並因此而增強了對事情的正面看法﹐這不就是他的 "正能量" 建立的過程嗎? "正能量" 在逆境情況下似乎更易顯露出來。

患難多恩典更多

同樣﹐人生在經歷了困難低谷﹐可能會令你暫時好像一蹶不振﹐在傷痛過後﹐你發覺自己仍然生存﹐可以渡過最困難的時刻﹐克服了看來難以克服的困難﹐原來你的內心已經在不知不覺中建立了 "正能量"。從過去不少例子得知﹐人跌得越痛﹐傷得越深﹐磨練更強﹐自信更高﹐更加體會到 "患難多﹐恩典更多" 的道理。由此﹐你漸會明白到人的自信。"正能量" 不是天生的﹐而是在生命中每一日慢慢地訓練出來。而且當你越有 "正能量" 時﹐會令你不期然流露出 "正能量" 的特徵﹐如多見笑容﹐富幽默感﹐多從積極面出發﹐多說給人鼓勵的話語......等。

有一位朋友經歷婚姻關係方面的創傷﹐太太立意離婚﹐且要獨佔子女撫養權﹐又要求立即賣屋分財產。受此打擊﹐他終日以酒解愁﹐令他在工作中未能集中精神﹐出現工業意外﹐更被老板以犯錯為由給予解僱﹐受到失婚又失業的雙重打擊﹐使他更加下沉。直到有機會遇上昔日老友﹐告知情況﹐得到鼓勵﹐協助找工作﹐找律師處理婚姻官司﹐逐步處理﹐經過一年多的努力面對﹐路途終於見到曙光。他戒了酒﹐找到一份相近工作﹐再加多一份兼職﹐使自己忙碌及賺錢付律師費﹐又積極上教會﹐參與主日學、會友的社交活動﹐漸漸地他感到自己已重新站起來﹐洗脫一年多前的頹廢日子。

他的問題仍未完全解決﹐但他的心境卻越來越輕鬆﹐看到前面的問題不再是那麼大﹐且不時鼓勵一些稍微低沉的人﹐抒解心中的鬱結﹐成為別人的 "天使"。一個具有 "正能量" 的人不是不會受傷﹐不是樣樣順利﹐而是在逆境中仍然積極面對﹐笑看風雲變﹐一笑泯恩仇。

"正能量" 隨時隨地可發揮

建立 "正能量" 除了在困難中步步為營﹐努力以赴外﹐在平常的日子裡也可以用平常心去幫助有需要的人﹐使他人得到鼓勵﹐度過難關。你的小小付出﹐可能成為別人的轉捩點﹐反悲為喜﹐化危為安﹐更可能成為別人的 "天使"﹐得到祝福。
有一次我和太太去看瀑布﹐遇上婆孫二人在等待公公回來。我剛泊車在她旁﹐她前來求我幫忙。原來她丈夫失踪四個小時﹐至今仍未見影踪﹐使她感到既無奈又無助﹐心焦急又徬徨。當時當地有電話卻無訊號﹐怎樣打也打不通。婆婆表示﹐她丈夫是攝影狂﹐獨自上山去忙著拍照﹐留下她陪孫女玩﹐玩累了在車內小睡﹐醒來不見他﹐立時有點慌。

我在尋思怎樣幫忙﹐不久她已淚流两行。其時已是五点多﹐太陽快要落去。别無妙計﹐我決定報警。山區雖無訊號﹐911 卻可講通。報警後﹐只有等覆警方回覆。於便與其閒聊﹐東南西北拉家常﹐互相照應。我太太提議為此事禱告﹐對方亦願意。"天父上帝﹐求您平平安安﹐帶領他回來﹐您是我們完全的倚靠!" God we pray you﹐please bring him back in peace﹐we all count on you.)

祈禱结束後﹐终見警車到。警察開車門﹐丈夫突出現。夫妻再相聚﹐熱淚聚滿面。她多次致謝﹐有我們在旁﹐致電又禱告﹐使她不用慌。笑容復再現﹐擁抱道別時。臨行再致謝﹐我們是 "天使"。奇妙的經歷﹐無心理預備。只有四車位﹐剛有一車去。剛好泊在旁﹐因此相遇上。剛好不用趕﹐可相陪等待。手機可以用﹐報警等支援。提出齊禱告﹐彼此同心向。不慣用英語﹐只說心中意。感謝神垂聽﹐願主續引領。剛好又剛好﹐豈只是剛好。萬事神容許﹐自有衪心意。有主在心內﹐不用太驚慌。發揮 "正能量"﹐可減退緊張。

Energy"正能量" 滿心內﹐順自然流出外

我深信﹐人人都有 "正能量"﹐有時會多些﹐有時較少﹐甚至乎不大感覺到。"正能量" 的特徵是對自己有信心﹐對別人多欣賞﹐對生活多樂觀。"正能量" 就是以平常心面對所發生的事﹐以積極及勇氣面對目前挑戰﹐順服心中的意念(對基督徒而言就是聖靈的帶領)﹐接受其後果。願各位的"正能量"﹐不斷湧現﹐惠及四方。

"應當一無掛慮﹐只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求、和感謝﹐將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安﹐必在基督耶穌裡﹐保守你們的心懷意念。凡是真實的、可敬的、公義的、清潔的、可愛的、有美名的﹐若有甚麼德行﹐若有甚麼稱讚﹐這些事你們都要思念。"(腓力比書4:6-8)

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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