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【讀經隨想】一家之主,需當頭?

 

「因為丈夫是妻子的頭,如同基督是教會的頭;祂又是教會全體的救主。」(以弗所書五:23)

在最近一次的聚會中,因著探討男女大不同的主題,有一位弟兄提出了他困惑已久的一個問題:「在我們家,明明是妻子比較聰明,為什麼聖經上一定要說丈夫來當頭呢?」於是有同學依據聖經記載來解答,神造男人先於女人,就像父母先於子女,所以男人當頭是神所定的次序問題。這樣的確解答了男人當頭的問題,但似乎忽略了前面那句「妻子(女人)比較聰明」的議題。當然這個議題絕對頗負爭議,但看得出是那位弟兄的肺俯之言,或許也代表了一部分弟兄的心聲。

在大夥熱烈討論之際,忽然在我腦海中出現了一對曾經見過的男尊女卑的夫婦影像,只見那位丈夫對著他妻子大聲抱怨:「妳怎麼這麼笨?講了幾遍了妳還弄錯!妳什麼都記不住,什麼事都不能交給妳辦。」一張氣急敗壞的臉,一副趾高氣昂的態度,再加上那嫌棄的聲調,聽得我們當時在場的其他夫婦,彼此面面相覷。相較於提出困惑問題的那位弟兄,看看他柔和的口氣、謙卑的態度,這麼強烈的對比是否讓大夥對「妻子(女人)比較聰明」的議題,略為解惑?

聖經《創世記》中有關造男造女的名句:「耶和華神說,那人獨居不好,我要為他造一個配偶幫助他。」 (創二:18)也就是神為亞當預備的是一個和他相配的幫手。中國人對能幹的妻子有一美稱,叫「賢內助」,豈不是好幫手之意?由此可見,神造女人的基本原則肯定是聰明的,因為她要幫助亞當治理這地,而且神也要透過她的眼光來看他的屬靈生命。

「婚姻靈修學」的作者湯蓋瑞常對人說,我覺得神給予深具影響力的男人一個妻子,有一部分原因是為了讓他不至於得意忘形。有一個能夠看穿你真面目的人在身邊,實在是寶貴無比。婚姻關係使我認清自己的不足之處,更顯明我的罪及傷人的態度,不得不誠實謙卑地承認錯誤、彌補過失、聽從智者的建議。這樣的婚姻生活即是一種屬靈的操練,有助於我(身為丈夫的男人)追求成聖,活得更像耶稣基督。彼得在(彼前三:7)的教導:「你們作丈夫的,也要按情理和妻子同住;因她比你軟弱,與你一同承受生命之恩的,所以要敬重她﹐這樣便叫你們的禱告没有阻礙。」

現在來看看由亞當而出,被上帝精雕細琢的女人。她是上帝傑作中的傑作,既聰明又美麗,她為何要以丈夫為頭?我認為上節經文中的「因她比你軟弱」,就是最好的理由。《麻雀變鳳凰》一書中說,上帝放在女人裡頭那真正的女人氣質,是為了喚起亞當真正的男子氣概。想想看,所有故事中的英雄之所以為英雄,不總是因為他生命中有一個女人(他認為的美女)在激勵他嗎?上帝的這個設計是如此奧妙。男人渴望搭救美女,成為女人的保護者;再聰明能幹的女人,也希望有個英雄(她的男人)為她挺身而出、給她力量、讓她依靠、為她遮風擋雨。這正是男人當「頭」的意義,就是那麼簡單,又那麼深奧。

其實﹐神把女人的身形造得柔弱外,她的心靈更是脆弱易感,容易受傷,需要男人的力量,不但給予她身體的保護,更要成為她屬靈上的遮蓋。然而有些女人認為自己就能掌控人生,她在家裡凡事作主,她的強勢卻是削弱了丈夫身上的力量。反之也有些女人總是想辦法討好丈夫,卑躬屈膝,乞求注意,卻一點都激不起男人的保護慾。她們都忘了呼召她們生命中的男人作英雄,才能給予她們保護、保養、照顧並珍惜。

保羅教導作丈夫的要愛妻子,如同愛自己的身子;愛妻子,便是愛自己了。「從來没有人恨惡自己的身子,總是保養顧惜,正像基督待教會一樣。」(以弗所書五:29)所以,「丈夫是妻子的頭」是上帝的命定,於男人、於女人,都是最好的安排。上帝的心意原來是如此美善:男女彼此都可以使對方完全﹐使對方更美麗,或使對方更英勇。無論男女,你真心認同「男人是一家之主,需當頭」的聖經觀點嗎?

親愛的天父:

我們要稱謝祢,因我們的受造奇妙可畏。感謝祢用創造宇宙時同樣的細緻與精確,創造了女人,祢看所造的一切都甚好。祢以無盡的智慧來造男造女,祢容許我們的生命中有些缺憾,是為要成就祢在我們身上更高的旨意。感謝祢讓我在許多方面感到不足,使我惟有倚靠祢,而不再倚靠自己。感謝祢多次以我的軟弱扯碎我的驕倣,幫助我謙卑地與祢同行。祈求主幫助男人、女人都能深切明白神設立婚姻家庭,讓男人當頭,造就彼此成為聖潔的心意!奉耶穌基督的名感謝、禱告、祈求!阿們!

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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