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【特稿】孤燈引夢記朦朧

 

小鵬:你在父親節前一天息勞歸主,今天已逾兩週了。自從你到天國後,我每日盼望你能在我夢中出現,告訴我你現在的情況,天國是否如我倆曾經討論過的,不需要煮菜燒飯,天天都在唱詩歌,每個人看起來都是十分喜樂忘憂啊!等了你好幾天都沒有在夢中見到你,我在想你在天國大概過得太舒服了,因為不再有疼痛,不需為任何瑣事煩心,天天享受你吉他的演奏樂趣,或者你正忙著和你祖母、父親、姑爹、還有姑姑敘舊,早把我和皓皓拋諸腦後了。

2017年底全家由美回台一遊太魯閣

2012 年,在一次體檢中,發現初期大腸癌,接受手術治療,隔年追蹤,不料癌細胞轉移到其他部位,從此開啟你抗癌的旅程。在你抗癌這七年中,我們經常以聖經中經文來彼此互勉。每次化療前後醫生都會測試你血中的癌症指數,以便知道化療效果。每當那指數下降時,你都十分感恩神的保佑。記得第一次手術,要把癌細胞清除,同時裝上支架以防下半身癱瘓,開刀前醫生也沒有把握手術是否會成功。在進手術房之前,你流著淚向家人一一作生死告別。我也為你禱告,求神看顧外科醫生的手,保佑手術中的每一個細節都順利。當醫生通知我,手術一切順利時,我迫不及待地趕到加護病房探望你,看到你時,你正滔滔不絕地誇讚醫院的伙食,看上去精神很好,四肢的知覺也完整無損。我們感謝父神答應我們的禱告,讓我倆經歷似是生死離別之後的重逢,真是神蹟啊!

七年前,醫生就告訴你,你的存活率大概是三年左右,而你卻活得遠遠超出預定的期限,若非神的保守和醫治,豈能有此效果?!但我們也明白,生命在神的手中,我們會以一顆順服的心來接受神的旨意安排。你自己也曾經說過:我每天能呼吸一口氣都是神的恩典,活著的每一天都是神賞賜的奇蹟啊!

在你憂心苦悶的時候,我禱告求神賜你一顆喜樂的心,因為我相信喜樂是一帖蒙福的特效藥,憂傷的靈使骨枯乾!過去,親朋好友及鄰居都把美味佳餚帶到我們家來同慶佳節,牧師和教友們也把敬拜團和吉他帶到醫院或我們家中和你一起分享、敬拜、與你同樂。你甚至將吉他彈奏和烹煮手藝當作你的物理治療項目之一,每每在這些活動或聚會之前,你都十分期待,之後你也變得更喜樂感恩。

當你軟弱的時候,我也常引用哥林多後書12:9來安慰你:"我的恩典夠你用,因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。" 我求主賜予你力量,讓你心裡的喜樂勝過肉體的軟弱,活出尊貴榮耀的樣子。就算在你身體極度痛楚中,要你經常喜樂十分不易,但你依然很努力地相信神有美好的恩典會發生在你身上,坦然接受神對你病中一切的安排。

自從你離開我們後,皓皓每天都陪伴在我身旁,他陪我散步、逗我開心。他也以男主人的身份來照顧這個家。每當我因為思念你而痛哭時,他都會在我旁邊安慰、陪伴我。皓皓還有很多需要學習的地方,他也慢慢地體會到先要求神的國和義,神就會看顧、供給他一切的需要。所以請你放心,神會繼續恩佑、帶領我們母子安度未來歲月。

總之,除了想念你,還是想念你。想念你煮的佳餚,想念你修剪過的庭院中草木花卉,想念你開車帶著我們全家度蜜月時的傻勁,想念你在 50 歲後第一次發現滑雪樂趣的興奮,想念過去十個月每日與你朝夕相處的時光。除了感恩,還是感恩。感謝你讓我全心地陪伴你走完人生最後的一程。感謝你對我的信賴,更感謝這麼多的親朋好友、牧師教友、以及我們的鄰居對你的關愛。在你生病的這段期間,我們每日都活在神的恩典中。他們以愛的行動來照顧我們全家,為我們禱告、祈福。

雖然捨不得你的離開,但知道主耶和華是我們的牧者,祂已經引領你安息在天堂的樂園裡,那兒再沒有疾病、疼痛,令我很感恩不已。愛你,緬懷與你攜手共度二十五年似海情深的歲月!如今天人永隔,孤燈引夢記朦朧,期待夢中與你重逢的快樂時光,你的音容長留我心中,慰我相思,與我同行,我永不孤單!

愛妻玲玲

 

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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