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【夫妻同心】家新的根基

 

2004 年有對弟兄姐妹從營會回來,送我們 30 元禮劵,一看是恩愛夫婦營的,餅卡見得多了,參加營會的禮劵還是第一次見。拿著禮劵,內心掙扎,去嘛,還要給多幾百元,不去嘛,這 30 元就沒有了,最後和太太說:既然他們說得這麼好,我們就當去度假吧。沒有想到這一去,真是身入侯門深似海,從此就愛上了家新。

我們在營會中遇見了神,夫妻關係也有很大突破,還成了跟進小組長。一對帶領夫婦手把手的教我們帶領小組,關懷組員。05 年受訓,06 年當老大一歲斷奶以後,將他交給親戚照顧,憑信心開始帶領營會。這麼多年來,孩子一個一個的生(就是生多了兩個),期間回應神的呼召去讀神學,2011 年開始全職牧養教會。不管生活多忙碌,內心總有個感動:家新是寶貝,是神在這個世代中,祝福家庭和婚姻的寶貴器皿,我們要抓住機會,參與其中。於是繼續憑信心一次又一次地帶領營會,參與跟進。在參與家新服事時,不僅夫婦生命得成長,也從中得到不少實戰裝備,後來這些都能用在牧養教會上。2018 年,想不到神的呼召再次臨到,我更進一步成為家新的全職同工。回頭一看,這十多年的时光是怎麼樣走過來的?全是恩典!

在與弟兄姐妹的接觸中,我發現沒有去過恩愛夫婦營的人,常有一個想法,以為營會不外乎就是用心理學理論來促進夫妻關係,甚至以為這是聖經所講的世上小學(歌羅西書二8),這實在是很大的誤解。

恩愛夫婦營一開始就強調,婚姻的問題乃是人犯罪離開了神,最後呼召人回轉到神面前,邀請不信的決志信主,信主的要委身於神,委身於婚姻。从過去多年帶領營會的經驗来看,让我驚歎的是:恩愛夫婦營的信主率,比許多佈道會和福音營還要高。2015 年全球的統計,在營會中決志信主比率為 39.9%。加拿大加西事工主任魏建斌弟兄,他們夫婦參加 2011 年 3 月的夫婦營時,還都沒有信主。太太林婕在營會的主日崇拜中,甚受感動,要舉手決志。魏先生(那時候還不是弟兄)按住太太的手,按左手,舉右手,按右手,舉左手。兩個月以後,魏弟兄也在教會佈道會中決志信主。幾年以後,他甚至成為家新的全職同工,他現在也已經部分時間進修神學,從而能更好的服事主。家新的創辦人邱清泰博士描述家新,是以夫婦為單位的門徒訓練事工,許許多多的夫婦,就是這樣在恩愛夫婦營中被訓練出來,成為主的精兵。

明年家新就建立整三十年,為何家新走過這麼長的年月,經歷不少風吹雨打,仍然能不斷擴展壯大?乃在於從開始到現在,家新都堅持扎穩根基。

究竟家新的根基是什麼?

使徒保羅曾經在當時一位著名的猶太拉比手下受教,可以說是名校裡的高材生。他知識淵博,富有才幹,然而跟從了主以後,他下定心志,不知道別的,只知道耶穌基督並祂釘十字架。他寫給哥林多教會的書信中這樣說:

弟兄們,從前我到你們那里去,并没有用高言大智对你們宣传神的奥秘。因为我曾定了主意,在你们中间不知道别的,只知道耶稣基督并他钉十字架。(哥林多前書二1-2節)

因為那已经立好的根基就是耶稣基督,此外没有人能立别的根基。(三章11節)

這是聖經的教導,也是家新的信念:就是營會的主角,不是帶領夫婦,不是學員,乃是神,是主耶穌基督。

家新的核心價值:为己无所求,向主献所有

家新的異像:建立生命品格,活像基督的家新人

家新還有個心志,也是我個人非常喜歡在主面前的立志:為主得萬家,家家為主活!

2018 年我參加了第 10 屆全球同工大會,主題是連於基督、活出基督、傳承基督。

在帶領夫婦培訓中,最強調的是生命品格,最終就是與主耶穌基督的生命關係。
這一切的一切,都表明家新從開始到現在,一直都堅持,我們的根基乃在於耶穌基督,我們所傳講的,就是耶穌基督並祂訂十字架。

保羅整個生命的根基,是耶穌基督,因此他能經得起風浪,至死忠心。家新能夠一直堅持主耶穌基督這個根基,所以到今天也仍然可以繼續被主所用。

各位親愛的家新人,許許多多營友的例子讓我們看見,如果一對夫婦,只是學習了方法,離開營會以後,卻沒有抓住這個最重要的根基(主耶穌基督),沒有在日常生活中繼續追求和主建立更親密的關係。那麼三個月、半年以後,夫妻關係就可能打回原形,甚至比之前更差。因為兩個人生命沒有改變,對彼此的要求卻更高了,導致失落感更大。一個人能夠向配偶存款,必須他的生命裡面有款可存。如果裡面缺乏從主而來的愛,哪怕存款的方法操練得爐火純青,總會有柴火燒盡的一天。今天你們對配偶的愛是否越來越熱烈還是逐漸暗淡呢?讓我們一起到愛的泉源那裡,支取那從上頭而來源源不斷的愛,你們夫婦的愛火就可以重燃。

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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