|Never Forsaken -- A Testimony from Tracy Cao||不離不棄 -- 曹馨月的見證|
Translated by：Tracy Cao
I originally come from Nanjing: a beautiful city in China. I moved to Macau when I was 15 years old. From that point in time, I started to have some ideas about the Christian church and Jesus. I felt people in the church were generous to share their love to me. Those sermons preached on every Sunday mornings were also full of wisdom. Therefore, I was willing to go to church on weekends when I had nothing else to do. But my heart did not have any in-depth interactions with Jesus and I did not feel Jesus had made any changes in my life. As time passed on, I started to get bored of going to church. I thought it was wasting my valuable study time during the weekends. As a result, I made up several excuses to escape the fellowships, activities and bible studies in the church. Sometimes, when I felt really guilty or when my Christian friends asked me to come back, I would just show up in the youth fellowship or Sunday morning services.
I believed my life would keep going in that way. Until the day I started to apply for the Undergraduate Hospitality program in Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK). When the dean of the school of business administration wrote me an e-mail to invite me to go for an interview in his office because of my excellent responses on the written questions, I felt so proud of my ability. I had full confidence that I would definitely be accepted by CUHK without any preparations. Unexpectedly, my admission was denied in the end. Then I applied to SFU upon my Mom’s friend’s suggestion. According to the information on the website, my high school grades satisfied the admission requirement for the faculty of Arts and Social Science.
可是到了七月中，當我已經放棄了其它一些大學的入取通知書時，我卻收到 SFU 的郵件，說是由於來自澳門的成績需要做出一些調整，而我調整後的成績與錄取線相差了 0.7 分，祂們不能入取我。這個消息對我來說猶如晴天霹靂；直到那個時候，我才想到了神，我不停跟神禱告說求神給我一個好的出路，不能讓我沒學上。但最後由於臨近九月開學，在我媽媽朋友的建議下，我只能選擇先去私立的學院讀書，而如果我讀得好，就能重新轉進 SFU。經過這樣一番折騰，我開始對我的人生感到十分的迷茫，我就算做夢也沒曾想過自己會進入這樣一所即使在溫哥華都沒什麼人聽過的學院。我心中甚至暗暗質問神：“這就是你給我的好出路嗎？”
Everything seemed to be perfectly fine and I had confidently given up an admission offer from the University of Macau. Nevertheless, near the end of July, I received an e-mail from SFU. The school informed me that the school had to adjust all the grades from international high schools and my adjusted grade was 0.7 below the admission requirement. This e-mail drew me from heaven to hell. I thought of Jesus, I prayed and asked for a bright future. In our Chinese traditions, I needed to be accepted by at least one university level institution. Finally, because I applied other schools too late, I only could be accepted by a private college in Vancouver. I had never dreamed that finally I was accepted by a small scale college, it is seldom recognized by even the local people. I blamed God: is this the “Bright” future you gave me?
At the beginning period after I came to Vancouver, my life was undirected. One day, I was walking by a church near where I lived. Somehow I felt just so warm and peaceful when I saw the cross on top of the church building. I just walked in, signed up for a Mandarin Youth Fellowship and hope to find my direction of life. I remember there was a sentence from the first sermon I heard in that fellowship: God breaks you in order to make you stand up again through Him, and be used by Him. When I heard about this, tears came out of my eyes. There was a voice assuring me that the message was what God wanted to tell me. From that point on, I was determined to return to Jesus, to get to know more about Him. In the following days, I prayed, read the bible, and always attended fellowships. I started to feel that I am growing closer to God. Gradually, a girl who was stubborn and proud disappeared.
在接下來的日子中，我用心禱告、讀經、也經常參加聚會。我發現我和耶穌越來越有話說，越來越想親近這位真神。漸漸地我改變了，那個內心驕傲，總是愛鑽牛角尖的我不見了，換來的卻是一個內心平安、常常喜樂、無論順境逆境都充滿感恩的我。雖然花在神身上的時間多了，但是學習卻從沒耽擱，在神的帶領下我出乎意料的轉進了心儀的 SFU 商學院。 2012 年春天，我在威靈頓教會受洗。回看這一路走來，神在我身上所做的一切都是那麼的神奇，充滿著恩典。
God brought me a new life full of joy, peace and grace. Although I spent more time on God, I could still keep an outstanding performance at school. I was even accepted by SFU business school with a scholarship under God’s guidance. I was baptized in 2012 spring. I look back to what God has done in my life: full of His grace.
There must be so many things which happened unexpectedly in our life, but do not be hopeless and despairing. Being faithful and patient, finally you will see God’s wonderful plan upon you, as he said “Never will I forsake you, never will I leave you.”